Taken Away
by Wafflecat1
Summary: A parody of Spirited Away. YES, IT HAS FINALLY BEEN UPDATED. Waffle and Katie meet Kamaji.
1. Our Friends Got Turned Into Pigs, Ect

**Title:** Taken Away 

**By:** Katie Wendt and Wafflecat 

**Author's Note:** Helloo. This fic was created by Katie (katie on FF.Net), and I. We wondered what would happen if us and two of our friends got stuck in the spirit world like Chihiro, and how we'd get out. We hope we entertain you with this story, and show you how the modern American would probably die in the first thirty minutes of the movie. Thank you for your time. 

**Disclaimer:** 'Spirited Away', or _'Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi'_ and all related characters belong to the magical Hayao Miyazaki! Sam, Mar, Katie, and Waffle belong to... Sam, Mar, Katie, and Waffle...Because they are those people. 

**Rating:** PG-13; for language and 'crude' humor. 

* * *

**Chapter I: Our Friends Got Turned Into Pigs, So We Gotta Go On A Big-ass Adventure to Save Them**

    **O**nce upon a time, there were four girls: Sam, who was obsessed with Legolas from LOTR and would kill you if you attempted to steal or flirt with him...even though doing so was impossible. Waffle, the small black girl who often spent many days staring into the sun. Katie, the second-oldest person in the car who was capable of hypnotizing a person into giving her free candy. And Margo (Mar for short), the driver who didn't have her license yet, but was driving for the mere purpose of progress of the story. Two of the four girls were going to experience an adventure they'll be glad to forget, but we're going to lie and just say 'an adventure they'll never soon forget.'

    Sam and Katie were sitting in the back seat, laughing about something that may or may not have included snack cakes and gophers. Waffle sat placidly in the front seat next to Mar, muttering something about, "ZATR. . . NOOOO!" and Mar attempted to block out the noise while looking professional enough at driving to avoid being pulled over. Sam suddenly remembered the bouquet of flowers on the back seat. She decided that the time was right to shred them and throw the flower-bits out the window. The unfortunate motorist in the car behind the one in which this story is taking place lost all visibility when the flowers coated his windshield. He swerved off of the road and a large explosion ensued when his car ran into a mailbox. It was very pretty.

    "Was it just me, or did a car just explo--OOH, LOOK AT THAT!!"

    Mar stopped the car suddenly. Before the group was a long, dusty road that entered into a dark forest, thick vegetation blocking all sunlight. Small house-like structures sat on the side of the abandoned road. Everyone in the car assumed that Smurfs had lived in the small houses previously in the past, and some sort of horrible force, such as a lawn mower, had driven them out of their homes. Waffle stuck her head out of the widow, inspecting the area to see if any police cars were lurking by.

    "I don't know why," Mar said, "but I think we should go down this road. Even though we'll be risking our lives, it seems that if we don't pass through, we'll miss something important to the plot of the story. Plus, it'll be a good place to hide dead bodies, and to get away from noisy police officers." Everyone in the car thought, _'WHAT THE FUCK, NOOO!!!11!1!11AURLAFKDJASLFEone'_, but no one said a word.

    Mar took to driving down this obscenely dangerous road at a cautious speed, being sure to take the numerous turns slowly and carefully. Sam then felt the need to cover her eyes as she drove. Mar, having lost all sense of sight, hit the brake. For whatever reason in the depths of her dark and twisted mind, Katie screamed, "FLOOR IT!!!" The shock was so great that, while Mar herself did not floor it, Waffle turned to smack Katie upside her corrupted head. As Waffle turned, she pressed the gas pedal on accident (yeah, right), and Mar took her foot off of the brake in an attempt to get Sam to 'get the fuck off of my goddamn head'. For some unknown reason, Waffle kept her foot on the gas when the car started moving again at top speed. Maybe she wanted to kill them all. We may never know.

    The car drove through a swarm of bushes and trees, shaking and rocking along the way, making everyone's heads smash against every side of the car. A large, round statue stood in front of a dark entrance, the car heading straight for it. Waffle screamed, hand still on the pedal. This time, Katie gave Waffle the 5-finger slap, a slap that consisted in where the slapper clenched all four main fingers together, extended the thumb, and smacked the slappee repetitively. This had worked; Waffle let go of the gas pedal, and the car stopped, right in time to make sure the impact of hitting the statue sent everyone flying out of the windshield.

    As you can imagine, this didn't make the windshield very happy. However, because nobody really cares what the windshield thinks, we'll continue on with the other characters. Now, the trees and bushes were all pretty damn pissed, and--

    Oh. . . wait. . .

    Sam pushed herself up. Mar began pushing herself up as well, but was abruptly shoved back to the ground by Sam. They began a short fist-fight as Waffle and Katie looked at the statue curiously. Waffle nudged it with her toe. "Bastard, just bein' all. . . in the middle of the deserted, vegetation-choked road."

    Katie nodded in agreement. "I mean, who the hell leaves a big-ass statue in the middle of the road?"

    The vegetation roared.

    Mar finally detached herself from her sibling, and raised her hands in victory. Sam bit her ankle, and jumped behind the other side of the statue before getting a physical response from Mar. She let her eyes wander to the dark tunnel, and suddenly became interested.

    "I bet there's gold in that tunnel."

    We use the word 'gold' because having chicken, neck-bones, fish, pie, or even 22" chrome rims wouldn't leave the reader in much of an awe as gold. Yes, we know we're lying. Everyone walked up behind Mar, shaking their heads, all deciding that if there was gold, it wouldn't want to be messed with.

    "I assure you Sam, if we were meant to go into that tunnel--" WHOOSH! A powerful wind sent the group tumbling down the tunnel, all the way down until they rolled past a soft patch of grass onto a large group of gravel and rocks.

    Mar climbed up to the top of a large rock. It increased her height by a good foot, perhaps even more. She began to declare herself the Tallest In All the Land, but slipped fell before the title could be properly stated. She began to sit up, and gasped as she saw some of the oldest, crappiest-looking buildings that she'd ever known. "They look abandoned, so whoever abandoned them probably left all of their gold." This logic was probably faulty, but nobody really cared that much, and they needed a reason to go into the abandoned town so that the story could continue.

    So, everyone wandered through the group of buildings, and soon found themselves in a small street filled with small, cramped shops. 

    Sam held out her arms to stop everyone in their tracks.

    "Do you smell that?!" she demanded. Everyone held their noses up to smell what intruged their companion so much, until they saw her and Mar rush off down a separate street. Waffle and Katie blinked for a few seconds before following the two around the maze of shops until they found them staring at a ridiculously large buffet of food.

    "Look at this--!"

    Before anyone could say or do anything, Waffle ran in front of everyone else, and attempted to stuff the food down her shirt.

    "EVERYONE! Fill your bras with everything you can. Get the goods, and let's get out of here!"

    Sam paused, then laughed maniacally and began shoving massive amounts of food into her bra. After she looked to be a good deal more topheavy than any normal female should be, she shouted, "LOOKIT ME! I'M BRITNEY SPEARS!" For added effect, she put a chicken on her head. Waffle decided that, though amusing, the 'overly-siliconed popstar' look was not for her. She started to turn from the table and started pulling Katie along with her. Katie followed willingly enough. "This doesn't even look like food. Look at that thing! It's like a. . . BAG OF MUSHROOM or something. . . I guess that's food, but- hey!" She increased her speed as Waffle pulled her along faster.

    Waffle walked up a flight of steps, looking around the small area suspiciously.

    "Free food? Bra-stuffing? Something fishy's goin' on."

    The two found themselves looking up at a large Eastern-style building, a large pipe spewing out chunks of smoke. Katie wandered onto the long bridge that led to the entrance of the building, and looked over the side.

    "I see..A TRAIN! GOIN' THROUGH WATER!" Katie panicked, and began to push Waffle away from the area. "We should just get out of here while we still ca--"

    "HEY!!" A boy with shoulder-length brown hair stood before the two girls menacingly.

    "Aww!" Katie said, tilting her head to the side slightly. "Lookit the little girl! She's so pret-"

    "I'm not a girl!"

    Katie jumped. "Holy shyt, did you hear her voice?! Jesus, she sounds like-" Katie stopped when she noticed the dark glare she was receiving from the girl. Er, boy. Boy. She cleared her throat nervously and looked at Waffle, silently begging her to say something before this guy. . . girl. . . no, guy, became more violent than your average small child.

    "Yeah, she's so pretty!" The boy/thing was fuming by now. Waffle placed a hand on his shoulder, and shook her head slowly. "Look, sir or ma'am, we're trying to look at stuff and get free stuff. If you try and stop us, we're going to have to go ghetto on yo ass."

    The boy raised his brow at the word 'ghetto', but frowned. "You have to get out of here before they see you! I'll distract them! RUN!" He shoved them across the bridge, forcing them to fall to the ground. He leaned forward, and blew out small pieces of glass, making the two girls stare in wonder for a few seconds, then jump up from the dirt and run for their lives. The sky turned dark as if they had just spent several hours in the area when they had actually spent only a few minutes. Several slabs of meat fell out of the duo's bra, but neither bothered to go back and retrieve them.

    Katie ran slightly behind Waffle as the two ran away from the peculiar glass-blowing boygirl. They came back to the shops and ran around for a while with no particular goal in mind. They just kinda liked running, I guess. However, they stopped when Katie fell backwards, having slammed her forehead into a low-hanging shop sign. She stared upward dazedly, muttering to nobody in particular. Waffle suddenly pulled her upward. 

    "Have you seen Mar or Sam?"

    "Uh. . ."

    "You saw them over there?"

    "Well. . ."

    "Okay, good. Let's go get 'em and get out of here."

    "Uh. . ."

    Waffle pulled Katie back to the area where the two sisters were before.

    "Come on, Sam!"

    But Sam wasn't Sam. Waffle dug into Sam's shoulders and began to pull her off the stool before hearing a loud oink.

    "HOLY SHYT!"

    Waffle looked back at a confused Katie. Large, black blobs were walking around the city now, slinking around like lazy bums who didn't have jobs. Sam oinked again, and attempted to gnaw Waffle's arm off.

    "SAM! What's wrong with you?!"

    "Waffle...they're PIGS."

    Waffle blinked, and saw that this was true. Both of them had turned into two large pot-bellied pigs oinking and screaming. Katie pulled Waffle back as a large fly-swatter slapped the pigs, making them squeal.

    "THIS PLACE IS MAD! MAAAD! MAAA--"

    Katie slapped Waffle again. "Okay, lets get out of here!!" Waffle grabbed her stinging face for a second before hearing Katie's suggestion. 

    The two ran through the city streets, occasionally running through black figures and spilling more contents from their bras.


	2. An Important Talk With A Boy?

**Chapter II: An Important Talk With A...Boy?**

    Katie started running past the black blobs. She stopped and waited for Waffle to catch up. After a minute, she realized that Waffle had passed her a while ago. She turned to run after her, but was cut off by a black spirit-blob that bore a striking resemblance to Mario. She finally caught up to Waffle at the edge of the now-not-so-abandoned town, pausing at the darkness outside of the shops. She then remembered that neither of the two were scared of the dark and continued onward. 

    "So I guess we gotta save Mar and Sam, huh?" she asked Waffle as they jogged around in random patterns on the grassy hillside.

    "Guess so. . ."

    "'Kay, 'cause I was just thinkin' we could probably go home and nobody would really noti-"

    "Hey, it's that girl again!" Waffle cut Katie off and pointed at a nearby bridge. Both girls stopped running around aimlessly, instead running with some slight purpose towards the bridge and the boy that had disturbingly girly eyes and hair. He muttered under his breath as they approached, pulling them down. He pointed to an approaching boat and whispered to them quickly.

    "See that? That's the boat with the spirits. They're gonna get off and lay around for the long weekend, have some beer, pretzels, talk, and go home."

    "Pretzels?" questioned Waffle. "But pretzels su-"

    "PRETZELS ARE THE BEST DAMNED THINGS IN THE WORLD SO YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" the girly boy cut her off quickly.

    Waffle was taken back. "Oh, no this ho-bitch _didn't--"_ Waffle flung her arm into the boy's face before seeing it pass through him.

    Katie looked over at the boat pulling onto shore. Hundreds of masks floating through the air glided past people in a straight line across the bridge over them, entering another area of the city.

    "This place is called Abuyara. My name is Master Haku, and I've only come to help you."

    Katie blinked slowly. "What does this have to do with Waffle's arm going through your pretty head?"

    "You'll have to eat food from here if you want to survive." He pulled out two long Subway sandwiches, all dripping with cheese and sauce. "You have to eat this if you don't want to disappear."

    "So...this place is where spirits come to be lazy bums and have massive orgies--"

    Haku shook his head vigorously. "NOO. No orgies. Just to sit around, drink beer, eat pretzels-"

    "What about our friends?" Waffle asked, biting into her last bit of sub. Haku blinked.

    "I didn't even give you the--Oh, screw it. If you ever want to save your friends again--"

    Suddenly, from above, a large, ugly-ass bird flew over the three of them, screeching in the night sky.

    Katie stared at the bird for a second, swallowing her last bit of sandwich. A look of wonder filled her eyes, and slowly, she uttered one word.

    ". . . Daddy?"

    Haku slapped his forehead. "That's not your dad! Jesus Christ!" He rubbed his temples and closed his eyes tightly, a migraine coming on. "Frustration. . . taking. . . over. . ." He inhaled deeply, then looked up again. "Despite the happy, joyous air of this place-"

    "Did you see that fucking BIRD?!" asked Waffle. "That ain't no happy shyt."

    Haku dug his fingers into his scalp, and let out a howl. Katie and Waffle pressed their backs nervously against the wall worrying of being caught. Haku took in a deep breath of air, and slowly exhaled. Katie finished up her sub with much satisfaction, and rubbed her stomach.

    "That was the Yu-bird. Yu-baaba is the ruler of the bath house here." He twisted his head around. "Come with me across the bridge, and I'll see what I can do."

    He got up and began to walk off before looking back to see the two looking down at their legs in dismay.

    "What the hell happened to our legs?!" Katie demanded, seeing that she was stuck in her sitting position in the grass.

    "Thanks a lot, JARED!" Waffle growled. 

    "Yeah. . . JARED!" Katie repeated, shaking an angry fist, despite not knowing just WHO Jared was. She attempted to stand again, also failing. . . again. She looked to Waffle to see if she had any more progress. Waffle was now lying on her side in the grass.

    "IMMA GO KUNG-FU ON YO' ASS, PRETTY-BOY!" Waffle shouted at the mysterious young man. "EVEN IF YOU AREN'T DOING ANYTHING TO SUGGEST THAT YOU'RE THE ONE BEHIND OUR NOT BEING ABLE TO MOVE!"

    Haku rolled his eyes and looked up at the bridge again. "Soon the pretzel-eating will commence. If you want to save your friends. . . you must go amongst the spirits as they eat them their pretzels."

    "Your grammar disgusts me!" noted Katie. "However! You probably know how to get our legs moving again, so I'm going to pretend to not care so that you'll help us!" She paused, then forced, ". . . . Please."

    Haku's face softened for a second, and he began to shake his head. He got onto his knees, and placed both of his hands on the girl's knees.

    "In the name of earth, wind, and fire--...what is that in your shirts?"

    Katie looked down at her saggy chest.

    "Chicken meats. You got a problem with them?"

    Haku raised a brow, and continued with his spell. "In the name of the band Earth, Wind and Fire-"

    "Hey, that's not what you said at first...," objected Waffle.

    "Unbind these girl's legs!"

    He pulled them up. 

    "Run."

    The three's leg pumped forward as fast as hell, making all of the lights and sounds of the city a blur. Katie began to choke on her own hair that entered her mouth as the group was led through alleys, streets, and a secret passageway until Haku broke down a door and led them to a small fence. Beyond the fence were hundreds of frogs and women, all walking along in line across the bridge that led into the bath-house. 

    "How did we run so fast?!" Waffle cried, feeling as if her knee cap was somehow moved from it's proper spot. Katie only breathed hard, angry at the girlish boy making them run so fast. He only held up a finger to his mouth, hushing the both of them.

    Waffle felt like smacking the kid for shushing them, but stopped herself from doing so as he paused in his idiotically fast running to talk to both of them. 

    "You need jobs."

    The two looked at one another, then back to Haku. "Why?"

    "Because that's the only way you can stay here."

    "Why?"

    ". . . Because that's what the rules here are."

    "Why?"

    ". . . Because that's just the way it is now shut up!" He glared at the both of them as they snickered to one another. Haku appeared to be ready to burst a vein in his head, but other than that, appeared calm. He glanced at the two girls, shook his head, and continued. "You need jobs here. Just bug the hell out of the old six-armed guy until he gives you a job. His name's Kamaji."

    ". . . . Why?"

    "Aspirin," Haku whispered to himself before rubbing his temples once more. He pulled the girls to the gate, and slowly opened it.

    "I need you two to hold your breath while we cross the bridge. Otherwise, they'll see you."

    He slowly led the two towards the bridge. 

    "Now..."

    Waffle and Katie made the most disturbing faces before taking a deep breath of air, and holding it in. They slowly walked across the bridge in agony, and clung to the back of his...urm...shirt-thingy.

    "MASTER HAKU!!!"

    Haku looked down. A small, green aogaeru danced before him, grinning like he had no other important business to attend to. "Yu-Baaba wants to see you!"

    Haku nodded. "About my mission..."

    Katie gagged. This girlie-boy was having a conversation while they were suffocating! She socked him in the back, causing him to lurch forward. Waffle gasped suddenly, making herself visible to all of the passerby's. Katie also took in a breath of air, smiling.

    "HUMANS!!!" A yuna screamed. Waffle blinked before seeing Haku's hand shoot some sort of spell at the frog. He grabbed them once more, and jumped forward.

    The three fled quickly (as most fleeing is done) across the bridge, while several spirits put up a very pathetic protest to their actions. Haku skimmed along the ground, pulling the two only a couple of feet across the ground. Three yuna workers cried out when they flew under their dresses, creating an impressive Marylin Monroe effect. 

    "LEAVE. NOW!" Haku threw the two girls forward into a group of thorny bushes, ignoring their cries of pain. 

    "Go down the stairs, open the door, you know the rest..." Haku walked up a small flight of stairs into a small room where a bunch of spirits were yelling and arguing about what a big commotion Haku had started. Waffle and Katie rubbed their heads, wondering if they should thank or kill the small boy.

    "I guess we should go meet this 'Kamaji' dude," Waffle said slowly. Katie nodded in agreement, wondering how long it would take to save their friends and leave the crazy place.


	3. Dood, He's Got Six Fucking Arms

**Chapter III: Dood, He's Got Six Fucking Arms**

Waffle and Katie crawled out of the bushes and stood up, brushing themselves off. They looked around curiously for the stairs that would lead them to Kamaji and the glorious world of employed misery. Waffle squinted in the darkness and spotted the steps. "Hey, over there. No. No, turn around, that's a field. Okay, there." She pointed at said stairs. Katie gaped for a second at the narrow stares, then voiced her opinion on the situation. 

"You've gotta be kidding. Those things couldn't hold, say, a ten-year-old named Chihiro, let alone you or me!" She shook her head slowly. "I guess that even though there's no way the old, rickety stairs could hold our weight, we should run down them really, really fast to compensate for the fact that we'll most likely die using them." She paused. "That made no sense, so it must be right." 

Waffle rubbed her chin. "Good point. Let's go. " 

So, the girls took their first step on the rickety stairs. Nothing happened. 

"Well, looks like--" 

CRASH! The step broke, and the girls jumped forward onto the next step. 

"Shouldn't we be--" 

As if by some mysterious command, the two ran down the stairs one by one, not having much control over their legs. The last three steps were really rotting logs protruding from the side of the building, but they jumped onto each one with amazing accuracy, and landed on the small platform beyond the last step. They suddenly stopped as soon as their feet landed on the concrete, and raised their hands in victory. 

"Even though landing on this platform and stopping suddenly practically defies all laws of gravity, it's good that--" BAM! The two ran smack dab into a concrete wall a few seconds later. No one is sure WHY they had crashed into the wall when they had obviously stopped as soon as they landed on the platform, but one will assume the laws of gravity will make sure it won't be broken again. 

Katie pushed herself off of the wall shakily. "I'm almost certain. . ." she paused, getting breath, ". . . that we should be dead right now." She looked at the ground, then at Waffle. "And yet, this place is nowhere near nice enough to be heaven, nor is it horrible enough to be hell. Maybe a very. . . slight form of hell or something. But then I guess it could be a slight form of heaven if you wanted to look on the pos-" 

"You're done," Waffle cut her off. "You're just. . . done." She looked at the old door curiously. "So I guess we open it. Open it I guess is what we do. I am guessing that this door is to be opened and opening the door is what we should be doing. Doing what we should be open dooring." 

"You have confused me in ways that I would never have thought possible. However! I think that we should open the door." Katie pushed on the old door lightly, with no results. "Aww, s'broken." 

Waffle nodded. "Too bad the door won't--" 

"WHO'S THAT?!" 

Katie's eyes widened. A low growl could be heard behind the door, along with loud clanks and squeaks. The door flew and revealed a small boiler room covered with small, black creatures. They all had skittered across the floor to a large furnace, throwing large chunks of coal through the opening, just missing being scorched by the flying bits of rock spewing out of the machine. 

"OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE KILLING THE COAL!!!" 

Waffle jumped forward in a slow-mo Matrix fashion, landing on her belly. The Susuwatari all froze, staring at the writhing girl. 

"DON'T KILL THE CO--" 

A large gold pot dropped onto the girl's head, sending her into a peaceful state of unconsciousness. 

Katie nudged Waffle with her toe, then looked up to see-- 

"DOOD, YOU'VE GOT SIX FUCKING ARMS!" she screamed to the man working at the grinding stone. He took no notice of her. She looked down and nudged Waffle again. "Dood, he's got six fucking arms." 

Waffle blinked awake, despite the fact that unconsciousness usually lasts a lot longer than that. She looked at the six-armed man, Kamaji, and then looked back around her at the Susuwatari. "THEY'RE K-" 

"THE COAL DESERVES IT! SHUT UP!" Katie flicked Waffle's forehead threateningly. You can imagine the horror. She looked back up to Kamaji. "Uh. . . six-armed. . . guy. . . we need jobs, and-- GOD, YOUR ARMS ARE SCARY!" 

Waffle pushed herself up from the floor slowly, taking in a big gulp and looking at Kamaji. "Mr. Kamaji sir, we need a jo--WHOA, SIX FUCKING ARMS." 

Kamaji turned his head and stared at the two girls, looking quite pissed off. "The Inn already has enough jobs, we don't any space for you!" 

"We need a job." 

"I SAID--" 

"We need a job." 

"But--" 

Waffle held a foot above one of the Susuwatari. Kamaji growled. Before Katie and Waffle could state their demand, the side door of the boiler room slid open. A girl about Katie's height climbed in, holding a tray of food, handing a few bowls to Kamaji. 

"I can't believe--HEY! YOU'RE THOSE TWO GIRLS EVERYONE'S LOOKING FOR!" 

Katie slapped her head. "What's with the spirits and humans? I mean...YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ONE--" 

"SHH!!" Waffle whispered. "Do you sense anything...odd about her?" 

Katie tilted her head to the side slightly. "She's. . . familiar. . ." She tilted her head to the other side and suddenly her face lit up. "ARE YOU THE GIRL IN THOSE COMMERCIALS FOR-" 

Waffle clapped her hand over Katie's mouth before another word of idiocy could be uttered. Kamaji blinked at both of them (even if they couldn't see his eyes; you just know he blinked) and cleared his throat. "This is Rin. She's real nice and you'll like her lots. Now you kids play nice." Waffle began to ask about the job again, but Kamaji turned back to his work of crushing stuff up into really tiny bits that would later be crushed into even tinier bits. Waffle frowned, then turned to Rin. 

"You may look like a girl from some commercial or another, as Katie has screamed needlessly, but you look familiar. Like we know you from. . . another place. So. . . do we?" 

"Do you what?" 

"Know you?" 

"From where?" 

"That's what I'm asking." 

". . ." 

Rin tilted her head. "My name...HEY! KAMAJI! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME WITH THESE TWO KIDS!" The girl stomped her foot angrily. 

Kamaji kept on with his crushing-ness. "They're my granddaughters. Now take them to Yu-babaa. They want jobs." 

Rin frowned. Kamaji took out a long, burnt lizard and waved it in front of her face. Rin blinked for a few seconds, waiting for some sort of purpose of this lizard-waving. 

"What?" 

Kamaji sighed. "Damn generation today...too DAMN SMART..." Instead, he tossed the lizard away, and pulled out 20 G's. 

"Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout," Rin said, snatching the lump of money from the man, and stuffing it into the invisible pockets of her robe. "Now, take off your shoes and socks, you're not going to be needing them inside of the bathhouse. HURRY!" 

The two girls just stood and blinked. 

"You smokin' crack if you think I'm gonna take my shoes off in the fruity place," Waffle cried, waving her arms in effect. "I mean, just look at the color of these shoes. You couldn't get them if you had a personal genie." 

Rin only stared at the shoes in thought for a few seconds, and quickly turned around. 

"HAVANA!" 

Rin stopped. Katie hopped in joy of remembering the girl who was, indeed, not in a commercial of any sort, or at least to her knowledge. 

"Havana...that sounds so familiar," Rin said, standing still. 

"HEY! You *DO* look like our friend Havana." Waffle said, nodding. Havana quickly turned around, grabbed their shirts, and pulled them through the small door she had came through. 

"GET ME OUT OF THIS MADHOUSE!!!" she screamed, shaking them. Katie plucked off her fingers. 

"Fine, fine, but how did you get here?" 

"I...I don't remember." 

"Well, just take us to this Yu-baaba character so we can ALL get out of here...including Mar and Sam." 

"They're here too?!" 

"Yeah, as pigs," Katie said, looking forward as if she was experiencing some kind of silent, yet mystical seizure. "Only may we face our fears could we--" The two other girls were already making their way down a long hall. Katie ran after them behind the next corner. 

Katie ran down the hall after them, bumping into the two as she caught up. They were stopped in front of an elevator, or so it seemed. Waffle was looking around curiously, but turned her head to the elevator as it made a nifty little 'DING' noise. It was neat. However neat the DING was, though, all three of the girls recoiled when the door opened. Havana was the first to recover. She put a winning smile on her face. 

"Oh look. . . the pumpkin spirit." 

It was indeed a rather obese. . . pumpkin man. Katie and Waffle only stared. Finally, Katie started up, "I thought it was supposed to be a ra-" 

"This is a whacked-out fanfic, so it's a pumpkin," Waffle cut her off. 

"Ah." She nodded knowingly, not really understanding, but pretending to so that she looked smarter. 

Havana grabbed Katie and Waffle by the collars of their shirts and wedged them into the small elevator. The girls were smashed against the sides, and their faces sure did look funny whoo boy. The pumpkin spirit remained oblivious to all of this, seemingly, despite the fact that his massive girth was pressing them into the elevator walls. He smelled none too pleasant. Kinda like them jack-o-laterns that are old and rotten but you don't wanna throw 'em away because you worked so damn HARD on the thing, and it feels like a waste to just-- 

Oh. . . right. 

The girls rode the elevator with the pumpkin spirit, awaiting the next obstacle of madness that would soon greet them. 


End file.
